Mobus Angrili (part 1)

Chair

Image via Wikipedia

An old story of mine, just reedited. Hopefully enjoyable.

Part 1! – Part 2! Part 3!

Directly taken from a not-so reputable website located on the world wide web, “perhaps the most versatile and fascinating object in the known universe is the prehistoric chair. From a block of stone to a throne, the chair is well-known for its use whilst during an interrogation. A more obvious functionality is sitting. Resting on a chair, however, is boring. Almost as dull and mundane as watching paint dry. There are individuals who tend to use chairs as weapons; others creatively assemble blanket and pillow forts. A small sect of individuals are additionally afraid of chairs. Known as ‘seatophobia’, the irrational fear of chairs, few cases have been reported.”

This quote is, however, from a site that most teachers and educational institutions would call ‘not-so reputable’. If you were to submit a scientific paper with this certain website as a source, you would be considered a fool. Maybe not a complete fool, but an incompetent one. There are no boundaries to the insults the scientific community can conjure up, brutal would probably cut it half way.

The Earth had moved 200,000 kilometers before Jack woke up. Around two hours worth of orbiting the sun. Thankfully, the Earth managed to stay in the orbit of the sun.

Jack lived in Iceland for one reason: he owned a bunker there. Hiding from chairs, he lived in a Cold War bunker he stumbled upon one day during his travels.

Jack was a lumberjack back home. He entered the cabin and there it was. The chair was not tucked neatly into the table, but instead down on the ground. Down for the count, as it appeared. He jumped! Nobody was supposed to be inside his home. It was his, not the bear’s. Jack, like the cynical man he is, threw a nearby chair, one that was neatly tucked in, at the incarnation of satan. He then ran out of the house screaming, “ghost men, ghost!” Nobody heard him, he was in a forest.

Inside the bunker were no chairs, as they were ‘evil’, but instead the welcoming scent of nachos. With dip. And a table with a couch pulled up next to it. The point of the couch was to sit in front of the table and to fill up the 200 square meters of his bunker.

“Bunkers are curious contraptions created for the sole purpose of hiding. Most likely hiding from bombs and missiles… and long-range-thermo-nuclear-warheads. They are generally empty and always look like a box from the inside. From the outside, you’d probably see dirt. This is because bunkers are generally underground. Those that are above ground are pointless and should be dug a hole to be put underground.”

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